THE MYTHS AND REALITIES OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE

MYTH : If a woman doesn't like it she can leave.

• " it's your own fault you're in this situation".
• " no-one is keeping you there, you must be happy to put up with it".

REALITY: Women cannot always leave, some reasons include fear, lack of money, lack of information, because of the children, thinking he will change. NB The ramifications can be more serious if she does leave.

MYTH : Alcohol consumption is the most common cause of domestic violence.

• " l didn't know l was doing it"
• " l won't drink any more"

REALITY : Alcohol is not the reason for violence, it is used as an excuse or gives some men the courage to abuse.

MYTH : Women only get beaten when they 'ask' for it.

• " you should learn to keep your mouth shut"
• " l warned you"

REALITY : No-one deserves or asks to be hurt.

MYTH : Violence happens mostly in poor peoples homes.

• " they are poor and uneducated, they don't understand what they are doing"

REALITY: Violence occurs in all economic groups.

MYTH : Violent men come from violent homes.

• " it wasn't his fault, he had a really awful upbringing"

REALITY : Not all abusers come from violent homes.

MYTH : Some women seek out abusive men.

• " she gets off on it"

REALITY : Women do not seek out violent men.

MYTH : You only hurt those who you love.

• "he's really jealous, that's why he lashes out"

REALITY : No-one has the right to hurt you.

MYTH : Violent men are monsters/cannot control themselves.

• "l didn't mean it"
• "it just happened"

REALITY : Men can control themselves, this is just an excuse.

MYTH : Domestic violence isn't a big problem.

• "l don't know anyone in that situation"
• "it doesn't happen around here"

REALITY : Domestic violence is a big problem, it is just hidden.